Boundaries are boring. Talking with someone you like about what lines you will and will not cross is not very romantic. Isn’t it better to let a relationship unfold without a bunch of rules?
In a relationship I had with a girl in high school, we weren’t concerned about setting boundaries. When things grew more physical, we didn’t see any problem with it. But that was our downfall.
I didn’t really get to know her when we started dating. We talked as if we had been together for a long time and were just as physical. To us it was all harmless fun. Yet I soon found it lacking. I wasn’t connected to her; she wasn’t important to me as one of God’s creations. Instead of talking about and reigning in our physicality, we went farther, trying to bury our problems in affection.
Finally, I ended the relationship because it wasn’t just meaningless fun; it was harmful to her and to me. Boundaries allow time to learn who another person is and to let things grow without pressure or confusion. Because of my foolishness, I hurt her; and she despised me for it. What could have been something strong and beautiful became something I still regret.
TAKE TIME to set your own boundaries, to talk about them with the person you are dating, to get to know each other well, to value each other as God’s creations. If the relationship moves beyond dating, you may discover that these things allowed genuine love to grow.